The same thing every year on this day. It’s Mom’s birthday and I keep waiting for it to be ok that she is not here. Nothing has changed except the movement of time. Time is passing and it’s not getting any easier, it’s just different. After the first few years I was afraid I’d forget her voice, but I haven’t, I was afraid I’d miss so much of her – I do but I also keep her close in my mind and heart. I can still hear her teasing my youngest sister on that last birthday we spent with her. Oh I feel weak today because I am in my flesh, I miss my Mom I want to hug her today for her birthday. I want to talk to her, I want to show her pictures of her Great-grandbabies or better yet let them sit on her lap and get spoiled rotten. Then there are the hugs and kisses, the time with Nana.
In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness.” Romans 8:26a (NIV)
So this day my oldest sister, Mom and I all went over to my youngest sisters house for a birthday celebration. Mom wanted a carrot cake and we had a recipe that was called 14 carrot cake. All from scratch and man was it good. So it was baking and we all went upstairs to her theater room to watch some TV, of course that was code for Mom to nap while the show was on. I am not sure she ever watched and entire show – grin. Anyway the buzzer for cake went off and sister runs down stairs to get it out of the oven and let it cool. Mom hollered down “Cake”, sister responded – it’s hot, it has to cool. To that Mom again hollered “cake”, sisters next reply was “I’m getting it”. Needless to say the cake got iced with homemade cream cheese frosting that was oozing of the cake because it was hot.
Mom ate half of this piece of heaven and told us to leave it and she’d eat the rest when she woke up. nap number two. It was a wonderful evening and we all made some wonderful memories. I’m so grateful that we had the time to spend with her, that we had time to say what we needed to say, to get in more hugs.
The weekend before she passed I went to visit by myself. She was struggling with eating and getting enough nourishment. We decided to eat little snacks all day, I went along with her so she didn’t feel like she was pressured. When I packed up to leave we were in the living room and she gave me the biggest hug I think I’ve ever gotten. Talk about a precious gift. That hug has sustained me for years now. I remember it, I remember the warmth, I remember we said nothing - just the hug. She smelled like honeysuckle as usual, it was her favorite. Oh I love honeysuckle for that very reason.
Exodus 14:14, “The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.” (NIV)
So Mom, I am wishing you happy 83 today. I love you and I miss you. I know you are in Heaven watching over all of us. Samantha and I have talked to the babies about you. Scarlet says Nana and Jameson sometimes calls me Nana which makes me grin. Keep watching over them Momma, I am grateful for you. Your life and your love. Happy Birthday.
Dear Lord,
I honor my Mom today. I know she is there with You and I’m grateful for that. Grateful to know I’ll see her again. Thank You for letting me be her daughter, it has been a blessing. Hug her for me and wish her happy birthday. In Jesus Name - AMEN