Years ago I was the sole leader of my Hometeam (Small group) and a situation presented itself. I had to really pray about the situation and determine what would be happening, I had no co-leader to bounce this off of so it was all me – my choice, what would the church want? What is the best course of action? So the issue at hand was, if we go out as a hometeam was it ok for someone in the group to drink. This was tough because I did not want to be a dictator, I wanted to do the right thing. Handle this in the correct way.
First, I signed an agreement that said as a leader I would not drink in public. It was something I had no trouble doing because I wanted to be a good example and I wanted to always walk out this Christian life, you might think – why would the church ask you to sign something. Easy, if I signed it and gave my word then they trusted me, if ever there was someone who thought they saw me or wanted to slander by accusing me of drinking and being sloppy the church could easily say – no she would not do that, I gave my word. If I wanted a drink I could have it at home. So what about others in our group. Well first thought was that we are a church group, not that anyone else in the restaurant would notice but we also took our kids to dinner with us too, much to consider. Then it was brought to my attention that there was one or more people in my hometeam who were recovering alcoholics. So how would that work if someone had a drink – should we ask permission or just not do it. Then other things started entering my mind about this situation.
After praying on this and really giving it careful consideration I drafted a letter to my hometeam saying basically this… our job as Christians is to help our brothers and sisters who need us in times of trials and temptations. For this reason when we go to dinner we will not be drinking alcohol, to honor and love our brothers or sisters who are recovering. Likewise, we will not be going to places like Hooters because there might be someone who is recovering from a sex addition or similar, we won’t be smoking, etc. In a nutshell we need to be on our best behavior and keep that as the standard, we take our children so we need to pattern this out for them too, show them how to love on others and ourselves. We all can do what we want in our private time. I’m not trying to tell everyone what to do – my intention is to love on those who might be struggling with something that we can and should knowingly help them with.
I have not led hometeam in years but I still am friends with someone who is very tempted by alcohol and wants very much to stay away from it. Make good choices. My friend realizes that alcohol is a huge problem and just steers clear. So if I am going to be with my friend I steer clear too. Why – because it’s the right thing to do… and… here is Biblical backing.
Romans 14:21 It is better not to eat meat or drink wine or do anything else if it might cause another believer to stumble.
Paul's bottom-line to those stronger-faith Christians is clear: Don't do what is wrong. Instead, do what is good. Even if it means "giving up" your freedom for a specific time or purpose. Even if that means eating only vegetables, today, for the sake of those of weaker faith. If it shows love to a "weak in faith" fellow believer, it's worth that.
Dear Heavenly Father – Thank You for our weaknesses, thank You for helping us through them and bringing people in our lives to come along side us and help. In Jesus Name - Amen