When my Mom passed, I really spent an enormous amount of time writing. It was a way to not only deal with my emotions but to put them out there so others could understand that what they felt was ok too. There is no perfect way of dealing with grief. Mine is to write something. So I’m writing something. Not posting this to mass Facebook, just my blog and a family group.
There are not many childhood memories in my life that don’t include Uncles, Aunts, Cousins, Grandparents, 2nd cousins etc. My Strickland family was a get together and have some fun really big family style and we did it so much I barely remember a time without family and get togethers. My Mother having seven brothers. Yes you read that right, she had seven brothers and four sisters. Their parents – my Grandparents were of twelve and twelve each too. So yes as an old boss used to say, my Strickland family could inhabit a medium size town – maybe even a large one nowdays – grin #NotSorryStricklandBIG.
So seven uncles and not wanting to pick a favorite, it just happened kind of organic like, now don’t misunderstand me – I had a great bond with many of my uncles and all of my Aunts, it was just that way, I also really loved and admired my Grandma Strickland – what a lady. As a little girl folks told me how much I look like my Uncle James, especially his wife Mary Jane. She would tell me “Andy, you know I was sure when I had kids they would look just like you’. They didn’t but those boys were close enough (not distance but close in family) they seemed like brothers instead of cousins. At one point two of my cousins came to live with us which was I’m sure fun for my brother who was the only boy home at the time. The boys were all around the same age.
After my uncle and aunt got divorced, it seemed like I saw her more than I saw him. I remember driving places with her and just talking, and talking and driving and talking, fun memories. We talked about everything. How I had such a fun childhood with all the family. We were especially close to them, seems like we were just always around each other.
As long as I can remember Mary Jane was a member of Salvation Army Church, we went with her several times. Sam was pretty young at the time but I remember her being excited about Easter and being in Church, Mary was really convincing when it came to – come to Church. She sure was excited when her son and his wife went through the program to become Pastors in the Church, they lived out at a camp type place and we went to visit, Sam and his daughter were close in age so they had fun playing.
Romans 14:8 (Amplified Bible) If we live, we live for the Lord, and if we die, we die for the Lord. So then, whether we live or die, we are the Lord’s
Church was always something she talked to me about and that she was passionate about, not just going but believing. She clung to her faith more and more as time went by. First with the death of her oldest son, then the death of her middle son. These two took a toll on her, yet she still had more to live for and live she did. Love she did. Its just who MJ is… always was.
Mary Jane has been sick for a good bit lately and so I have been praying her the last several months, she’s been battling uphill for a while, then a good report she was out of the woods. That night I had a dream, I’m not sure why this night I had the dream – maybe it was my fear – but I dreamed we were at her funeral and I was speaking to the attendees, giving my own little Eulogy. I talked about fond memories past, I talked about hard things – like two of her three sons passing away way too young, about how much I appreciated still being able to have her in my life. In wrapping up my little speech, I said this, “if you are here today then you were touched by the life of Mary Jane Strickland, if you are here you no doubt loved her and she loved you. I can tell you something I know without a doubt. She believed. She knew there was a Heaven and that she would be there some day. So today – in Honor of Mary Jane Strickland - if you have never prayed the prayer of salvation, if you have doubts – cast those away and trust that Mary Jane had it right, believe what she believed – Trust her… even if you are not 100% sure, give your life to Jesus as a loving gift to Mary. I assure you this would make her – does make her extremely happy, she will throw a big party in Heaven today because you did”. Not that I would ever stand up and say this to folks even family – I likely would never make it all the way through without crying or choking up. But the sentiment is true – it would thrill her, she does want this. So I’m saying it here family – friends, everyone!
This past Sunday, Mary Jane did pass away. There is a sense of huge relief in knowing what Mary Jane knew, in knowing that she is in Heaven, with her Mom, with Jimmy & Jerry, with my Mom, and so many more. I think perhaps this dream was to remind me to mourn and then rejoice because she is now in a place where she is whole and healed, she can dance up a storm, she can eat what she wants and visit until the sun comes up. All things I know she was all about. It’s a reminder to those of you out there who are struggling with her passing.
Ecclesiastes 3 Amplified Bible A Time for Everything 3 There is a season (a time appointed) for everything and a time for every delight and event or purpose under heaven— 2 A time to be born and a time to die; A time to plant and a time to uproot what is planted. 3 A time to kill and a time to heal; A time to tear down and a time to build up. 4 A time to weep and a time to laugh; A time to mourn and a time to dance.
I know that Mary Jane was “the Lords prized child” I am sure of that. I take comfort in that. Yes I will mourn but then I rejoice because she is and always will be someone very special in my life. I will always have fond memories of her and our times together. I will always believe that my life is a better place because she was part of it.
Let’s Pray
Dear Heavenly Father, I come to you with a heavy heart today, I know Kevin, Dee, her daughters-in-law, her sisters, her grandchildren, her nieces and nephews, cousins and whole family are hurting today because she is not here with us. Lord I thank You for not allowing her to linger in suffering, I ask You to cover her family and help them mourn and then rejoice because they all – as I do- know without a doubt that she loved us and cherished us as we do her. Bring peace to this family especially those who are mourning hard. I thank You, in Jesus Most precious name I pray - AMEN