Welcome first of all, to my blog! I am excited you are reading this. My hope is that I can Share + Thoughts + Encourage + Devotionals + Educate you all with my writing and then your comments to provide a wonderful and loving space. I want to create a forum for people to share and encourage.
Years ago, I began writing just this and that. People kept telling me i had a gift and things blossomed from there. Let me share a recent devotional (Below) I wrote that will explain my heart and basically why I have created this blog... Not giving up on writing a book, just testing the waters of a different variety. I sincerely hope you enjoy
Andrea
Why Can’t It EVER Be Me Andrea Parker
October 24,2019
I see success stories all day long, you just need to watch TV or listen to the radio or see people to know that there are folks who are just destined for success, don’t think that means I am just flat not successful, there are plenty of things in my life that have been successes. I am not goofy enough to believe that I am one of those –get it the first go around and get it again and again, matter of fact, I know I won’t ever be one of those, seems it just doesn’t come easy naturally for me – it’s the hard way or no way. Oh how I long for a day when just for one time, just this once, it would be me. Just one time I want something to come with ease, I want it to fall in my lap like it was totally planned and destined. Why can’t it be me?
2 Corinthians 3:5 (NLT) 5 It is not that we think we are qualified to do anything on our own. Our qualification comes from God.
So while I was processing my pity party above – boo hoo – why me…why, Because it is something I wanted very much. Something that has been a long time dream. Something I’ve talked about to friends and family but never actually told anyone exactly how much I dreamed of this happening for me. I didn’t want to taint the possibility and I also know as usual it will be an uphill battle. I am telling you though, this is something I wanted almost desperately. Its one dream I have had for a long period - years and oh I take it out and play with it a bit but I’ve never just flat out said out loud that I want this with every fiber of my being. I do., I want this dream that bad, with all I am worth. Have I stressed that enough. Ok you get the picture.
So now you need to know what it is. Well first, let me tell you I thought it happened to me. I thought it fell in my lap. I was as excited as I’ve ever been and just beside myself at my massive blessings for this to happen and then – boom. Deflated. It’s not happening. Ok Ok, now I’m getting there, be patient. I began writing about things many years ago. Once I found faith one of my big “faith to do” items outside of praying, going to Church and reading the Bible were to read devotionals. I love devotionals and if you ask me I will plug my favorites, I’ll tell you who and where and all the details on how to get them. I’ll tell you another secret while we are divulging things. I’ve secretly signed people up for email devotionals. It’s not I want to e-mail spam folks, not that at all. I simply want to bless these people by providing something I strongly feel they need. Having done so I have always told the person I did it to that I had done it. Every time, I get a thank you so #NotSorry.
So reading devotionals I had well over 1000 of them stored in my email cloud attached to my email account. I loved to go back and look for just the right one when someone needed encouragement. After a while I figured out that I wanted and could write my own. So – here I go writing my own and storing them in my email cloud. I feel sure I started writing them in 2008 or so. In 2017 I believe I found out my email account had been hacked and people were getting spam mails from me by the dozens. I had to shut down that email and do away with all things that email. Sadly all my devotionals from 2008 to 2014 were lost. Large bummer indeed. But in 2014 I started storing them again but on a thumb drive so now I had a way to carry them with me and edit or use if needed.
This year (2019) I decided, after much encouragement from family and friends to do something with my writing. I investigated a “Christian” publishing company free meaning I don’t pay which said they would publish and distribute for me, if they decided my book was a good one. After going back and forth a few emails worth I told the lady that I wasn’t finished and I needed to add more of them. She also encouraged me to add photos. So I worked on it and mid October I took a huge leap of faith and I uploaded the manuscript of devotionals I had selected and I contacted the lady back, now my wringing hands and anxious waiting. She told me it would be a week until they determined if they would publish and distribute my manuscript in to book form. The excitement is overwhelming. So it the enemy coming at me telling me I am not a good enough writer. I won’t be picked that’s just not how it works for me. I have not told everyone, only a select few, I’m honestly just going to wait and see.
Well the notice came yesterday, the first line says Congratulations. Wait – WHAT… I am over the moon. I read all the way through the email saying they wanted to publish my book, at the end she said “you should be proud”. Proud didn’t touch what I was feeling, I think I was so high you would have needed a tall ladder to peel me off the bottom of the clouds!! Now there was a contract which I expected, so I wanted a savvy business person to look it over, I would look at it too just to be sure it was good for all parties. I sent it to someone I trust very much. The contract itself was pretty upfront. First thing that knocked the wind out of my sails is they wanted me to pay for a bunch of things in advance and then they would take a royalty out of my royalty if the book sold, it was money I don’t have and don’t forsee having for a long while, it’s a dream not a necessity. That is not enough to deter me, I feel like there has to be a way, if this is supposed to happen, the next thing I found out is that my trusted person did something wonderful and “checked out” this company. He did an “old school – Google them” This company had quite a few negative responses on BBB of which more than a dozen were from this year. Call me old school but that speaks volumes to me. This isn’t going to happen. Not with these folks. I know too well that we are in the information age and that there are many and I mean many times that people will write something or lodge a complaint just because they can. Some of them are not always sincere. What I read there was enough for me to understand that this company was not who I wanted to work with.
So I go back to my original statement, can’t happen for me the easy way. Why not just once, just this one time. I can’t be mad, I can’t even be upset. If I signed up I would be out a large sum of money that I don’t have and that would truly be sad. Instead the protection came in the form of someone I trust who is looking out for me. Just like God’s trusted messenger. Thank God for that and for my trusted person.
God never promised us a Heaven on Earth y’all. He just promised to love us and never leave us. He also provides. I think I’ve said this statement many if not thousands of times to people. God does not call the equipped – He equips the called. He gives us what we need – when we need.
The enemy won’t win. I have a book, a manuscript, I am adding to it constantly. I’ll find another company who will publish it. I won’t allow this situation to define me. I could easily say – well they can say all day long. We will publish your book and give me a yes, but the truth is - the yes they gave me - is to my money so now I don’t know how good the book is. The thing is this, it doesn’t matter that all of this has happened. What matters is that I am thankful for being given the gift of writing. I am going to use my gift to encourage others. If not in book form them I’ll email my devotionals to folks as they need them. I’ll keep writing them. I will keep going. Stand back mister enemy because you don’t get to win today, and by the way – tomorrow is not looking good either! Just say’n.
Lord, first Thank YOU for the blessing of faith, thank You for always being in my corner. Thank You for giving me the gift of writing. I trust that You will show me the path, long or short, either way I will follow. Lord, I know there are other people out there who have that same – hard way for everything so I want to ask prayers for them too please. Could You soften our hearts to having to go the hard way if that is Your best for us, help us be ok with the wait or the not yet because we are waiting on Your best YES to come. Will You bless us in the mean time with patience and persistence to keep walking this out. Will you bring the right company to me (us) to help us do this thing for Your glory. Thank You so much - Amen