She has Wings

Usually when I write a devotional it comes from a happy place. I am usually fired up about the scripture I just read. Sometimes though life jumps in there and hits you in the head and tells you, not every day is the perfect day, we didn’t get a Heaven on Earth. People we love get sick, they pass and you are left to figure out the best way to move forward without them.

This one did not sneak up on us, it was no huge surprise – we had several months to prepare, if that is what you call it. It’s interesting when a parent passes away how much you think about them, you see things you’d like them to see with you. My Mom passed 8 years ago today. It still feels fresh some days and others it seems this long and even longer. This scripture is pretty fitting because I have and do both regarding my Mom. I mourn her, I wanted more time with her and I especially would love her to have been at my daughters wedding, to see her great-granddaughter. My gosh how I know for sure she would have been crazy about that little girl. I’ve said many times – Momma would have wanted to kiss her face off.

Then I also rejoice, I am grateful that she got as much time after the prognosis as she did. I also am grateful for those days, weeks and months to be good times, making memories and having much love. It was also very heartwarming to see her all the more outward about her faith. She was really intentional about God and her faith and she showed it. I’m so grateful for that.

Romans 12:15 Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.

(Biblegateway.com)

I don’t want this devotional to be a downer. The valleys are just as much a part of life as the hills. We all need to realize that death is a part of living. There will be days when it’s tougher than not. Be encouraged though that the passing of a loved one can be super hard, know I completely understand. Missing that person is a natural and it’s ok to miss our loved ones.

We also need to look at the right side of things too, don’t forget that. I can easily say I didn’t have enough years with my Mom and that’s true, I can also say her living 7 months wasn’t long enough and that’s true. Here is also what is above all else in truth…because I choose it to be truth. The doctors gave her 2 months and she lived seven. How can I do anything but praise God for the extra five months. Some people never have their parents in their lives, I had my Mom for almost 50 years, again how can I not be so grateful for the time I got.

I knew Mom, I had a wonderful relationship with Mom, l loved her with all I’m worth, I miss her and I am so very grateful that God let me be her daughter. I spent an enourmous amount of time talking to her and making sure she knew exactly how I felt about her. I was intentional about making sure she knew, it was that important. I did not want to leave anything unsaid.

She loved me, I realize I am #3 of 6 and that’s a bunch of kids but somehow Mom made each of us feel special, chosen, loved. I know that’s how Mom’s are, Grandmas too. She loved her grandchildren too. Each one very special.

A day or two after Mom passed we were all just trying to figure out what to do and how to move forward. I went back to the back bedroom and my sister was sitting on the bed playing on her phone and I could see tears streaming down her face. She is oldest, She also had a very close bond with Mom too, for the life of me I could not find words and it just kind of seemed like a time when I didn’t need to talk, I just needed to be here. So I sat down in the chair and just hung out with her. After a while, she said, “you know, Mom just got me”. She was saying Mom understood her like nobody else. This is true, Mom did get us all in our own special way. She had that Mom gift. I’m so grateful she did, so all of us kids could feel special in our own ways to Mom. I agreed with my sister – Mom did get her. Another reason to rejoice.

I was at a womens conference several years ago and the lady who was speaking was a very mature lady who was very well spoken, she talked a bit about this and that but then she began describing something she believed would be there in Heaven when we get there. She described a very long table with abundant chairs, seemingly never ending. She said that our loved ones were at this table and that we would be able to dine with them again. As I sat there I thought about having a Heavenly Thanksgiving dinner with my Mom, her parents, my other grandparents, all the aunts and uncles, cousins who have passed. A family reunion and wow does that ever sound good. When I was younger we had family reunions for her side of the family and they were some of the best times ever. We ate, played and laughed. I watched my Mom and my Grandma enjoy themselves so much, these reunions made them come alive for lack of a better way to describe it, they were IN their element, family meant so much to both of them. I mean a BIG family too, just so you can get a good picture - my Grandfather was 1 of 12, my Grandmother (his wife) was 1 of 12 and together they had 14 children, a set of twin boys died at birth so 12 living children, if you figure each of these twelve had between 4-6 kids that is a BIG reunion - yep I told you so, we could make up a small or medium town with all of us. Lots of Aunts, Uncles and cousins to pal around with, just the thought of another one of these big family reunions is wonderful. I really would like to believe that will happen, it’s certainly something to look forward to.

Another thought is this.... A few years before my Mom passed away a good friend lost her Mom and it was tough as well. She calls the day her Mom passed as the day she got her angel wings her day and I'll never forget it is 11-11. I like that, what a great way to think about it. So today I celebrate the anniversary of Mom getting her wings 4-28. Here is to your wings Mom I know you are jitterbugging in Heaven to all the great music and you are at that grand table eating once again with your family, Your Mom and Dad and your brothers and sister.

Dear Heavenly Father, Thank You for the gift of rejoicing and mourning. Thank You for my Mom and who she is and always will be to us and our family. Be with all those out there who have lost a loved one to remember the better side, the bright side. Amen