Family

Here is a large decision, what to do, your husband has died so you can go be with your birth family or cling to the family you married in to also here is your Mother-In-Law who actually needs you but is saying you don’t have to go with me – stay and have a chance at another life. Sometimes family is not who you were born with or grew up with, sometimes you get new family. If you had this choice what would you do? Stay with your birth family or go? (Naomi’s husband died, then both her sons did as well)

Ruth 1:6-18 6 When Naomi heard in Moab that the Lord had come to the aid of his people by providing food for them, she and her daughters-in-law prepared to return home from there. 7 With her two daughters-in-law she left the place where she had been living and set out on the road that would take them back to the land of Judah. 8 Then Naomi said to her two daughters-in-law, “Go back, each of you, to your mother’s home. May the Lord show you kindness, as you have shown kindness to your dead husbands and to me. 9 May the Lord grant that each of you will find rest in the home of another husband.” Then she kissed them goodbye and they wept aloud 10 and said to her, “We will go back with you to your people.” 11 But Naomi said, “Return home, my daughters. Why would you come with me? Am I going to have any more sons, who could become your husbands? 12 Return home, my daughters; I am too old to have another husband. Even if I thought there was still hope for me—even if I had a husband tonight and then gave birth to sons— 13 would you wait until they grew up? Would you remain unmarried for them? No, my daughters. It is more bitter for me than for you, because the Lord’s hand has turned against me!” 14 At this they wept aloud again. Then Orpah kissed her mother-in-law goodbye, but Ruth clung to her. 15 “Look,” said Naomi, “your sister-in-law is going back to her people and her gods. Go back with her.” 16 But Ruth replied, “Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. 17 Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the Lord deal with me, be it ever so severely, if even death separates you and me.” 18 When Naomi realized that Ruth was determined to go with her, she stopped urging her.

I can easily see both sides. As a kid we went to family reunions for my Mom’s side of the family. Now the Strickland clan are large, far and wide. My Grandparents were both one of twelve then they had twelve themselves – that’s a small town alone right there! I have cousins from here to tim-buck-two! What fun it was to run around and play with a large group of kids that were my family. Always someone to hang around with. Fishing, catching fire-flies, playing tag, oh the fun.

When I say I am one of six I mean I am one of six but from the perspective of “blood” I am blood related to only three, I would not normally mention this because it’s now how I or we roll when it comes to our family but for the sake of my point I’m telling you this. We’ve been six for forty plus years so for longer than not we’ve been siblings. My Mom and Dad divorced when I was about ten, she remarried shortly thereafter (they had YOURS, MINE and OURS) he was with her second husband for almost forty years before she passed away. The day after her funeral the six of us kids and Pop sat on the patio out back and my youngest sister said, “Nothing changes”. In my heart I was a thousand percent sure she was right and that I was right there in agreement. All of us agreed, nothing changed. You see technically my Mom passed so the world could say we aren’t related anymore but I dare anyone to say that to us because we are – we ARE family - always. That is MY Pop, those are MY siblings and it’s a DONE deal. Nuff said.

At the time my daughter did the “purity ceremony” at church she was thirteen, it was a great gesture and I honestly prayed and hoped it would be important to her when boys became really signifigant too. all too soon here come boys and now she’s 18 and there is this one boy. He seems pretty special to her. They date, they date for years, she tells me they talk about “forever” and I am not sure I see in him what she sees. In time we are afforded more time together. More family nights include him too, not just us girls like it had been for years. Now there was an extra person in there. I began to see the things she had told me about him, I suddenly saw him through different eyes, better eyes, family eyes, Mom eyes. He asked my permission to marry my daughter. Oh he asked her Dad but he was intentional about asking my permission and he wanted it, he needed it. They have been married over seven years now and over the course of that time there have been times that I’ve needed help. When she comes – he comes too. I did decide before they married that when she married this boy that I would take him on too. I would need to not think of him as an attachment but rather another kid. My other kid, if I was willing to take a bullet for her I’d need to take one for him too.

During our time together, I was not close to my Mom-In-Law, she was crusty in my opinion did not want me to be with her son. After we split up and because of how I was raised – about family – I fostered my daughters relationship with her Grandma. I let her call when she wanted to call, after a while it was obvious that she wasn’t getting to see Grandma and her cousins so I offered to take her over one afternoon. When I got there they invited me in. we chatted a while and the kids played. My daughter got to see her other family. After some time this became a regular thing. We went at least one to two weekends a month. I needed my daughter to have a relationship with her whole family. After some time my own relationship changed and we bonded in a way that I am so proud of. She trusted me, she loved me and she knew she could count on me for anything she might need too. I helped her in every way I could, anytime she needed it. She said “that’s one of my kids and if anyone doesn’t like it too bad”. See she was my Naomi and I would have gone with her, I would have helped her, I would have followed her and I think I would have said the same to her – where you go, I will go… because I loved her. God gave me several years of being a good daughter to her before she passed away. I genuinely love this lady, I consider her my other Mom. I knew she loved and trusted me too because before she got really sick she had a DNR drawn up by an attorney and instead of placing one of her other four children as number two on this document – it was me. She said, because I know you will fight for what I want, what I want and need, not what anyone else wants. She is right, it never came to it but I would have fought for her wishes.

Can I tell you that how my heart feels about the people described above is no different than if they had been born in my family. I am blessed that God gave me more, He said here is family and I’m giving you some extras. I’ll take them, today, tomorrow and everyday in between. I would be content with one Dad but I got two, I would be satisfied with a brother and a sister but I have two brothers and three sisters. I would be fulfilled with just my daughter but I have a bonus son and a grand-daughter to boot. God gave me a bonus Mom just because He can.

I am not sure how or why, I don’t believe I’ll ever question why or how. I will just give God the praises for my abundance of blessings when it comes to family and extra family. See I understand why Ruth went with Naomi, she loved her, she wanted to be there for her and be her family because she too understood losing a husband. Together they could comfort and help each other. its not just about blood its about heart and how you feel. It’s about LOVE. Love of family

Heard it said once that if you are born in to a family in Biblical times you could be disowned but if you were adopted in to a family at that time– no disowning, not allowed.

So once you are a Child of God, you’ve accepted Jesus – you ARE adopted in to His family there is no disowning. You’re HIS. Because He loves us – always will – always has.

Dear Heavenly Father – I have so much to thank You for when it comes to family, that I was born in to, that which I’ve been blessed with extra. I guess You knew the more the better for me and I’m so forever grateful. You are right – the more the better. Thank You for knowing what family means to me, thank You for bringing all you have an the extras. Thank You for more to love and more to have