Fear Eliminates Everything Trusted – is today a day when your fear is clobbering your faith?
I got this dark red paper on my door one Saturday night and as I got inside and read it the paper was ominous to start with because it was very red almost angry. The words were not sinking in right away. Grand Jury Summons. What on earth would a grand jury want with me? As I began thinking I had gotten a traffic ticket a month or so ago, I had also filed bankruptcy earlier that summer. Had something gone wrong? Had my attorney filed it incorrect? Were they going to come get me? Was I in deep trouble. The thousands of ‘what ifs” flooded my mind to the point where I was too nervous to even move. I didn’t sleep that night and by the time noon on Sunday rolled around I was a nervous wreck. Could not eat, sleep or function.
Isaiah 52:7 How beautiful on the mountains are the feet of those who bring good news, who proclaim peace, who bring good tidings, who proclaim salvation, who say to Zion, "Your God reigns!"
Above Fear Eliminates Everything Trusted, that is if you allow it to. Well you can clearly see that my fear was clobbering my faith on this day. Matter of fact fear kicked my faith out of the park if you want to know the truth. I was not even in a place to hear God or to talk to Him until I got so worked up and wore myself out. By Noon on Sunday I was just stupid from the nerves. I will admit this and say its not the last time I’ve had temporary insanity.
This ever happened to you? I know from experience it is not fun. There is not much friends or family can say to help the situation once you get or let it get to that point. This is fear to the point of rendering you stupid. You can’t move, talk or function. Now why would a person allow themselves to get this worked up? Why?
The human nature is the answer to that. it is the knee jerk reaction to something like this. So what came next really should have been the first and only reaction. I sat down and started praying out loud. I asked God first to allow me some peace so I could sort it out. At this point I began thinking about the situation, clearly noting that if there was an issue with my bankruptcy my attorney would have contacted me. Of course she would have. Next I just told God – I know whatever this is – it will not end me – You will be with me the entire time. At this point I gain some much needed peace. At this point whatever it was I was, there was no sense in driving myself crazy over it. Having God on my side really did help me feel so much better.
Monday the place would be open and I could call about it. Straight up 8am I was on the phone. This summons was indeed for me but it was not about me. The place I worked was in the middle of a law suit and I was being called as a witness because I work there. I did not know a thing about the suit of what it involved but man was I relieved it was not me. Now mind you I have to go before a Grand Jury… so my company flew me to Austin, hired me an attorney who talked to me a total of about 15 minutes before he drove me to the courthouse. He was not allowed to come in with me.
The room was a large circle or oval and I was at the front of it surrounded by six people. Oh they looked nice enough but when the questions started coming I found out quickly this was really serious. Again, being one of the last people to testify and not really knowing what it was about I really was not able to help them much. Oh they hammered me with questions left and right, asking the same question in multiple different ways to try and trip me up I suppose. Even at one point saying they don’t take “purgery” lightly. My attorney said it was a scare tactic and I told him – it worked. When they said this to me – I kind of barked back – I take it seriously too. I’m not lying for anyone. I just don’t know what you’re asking, it was not part of my job.
Let me tell you – I was so relieved when I got done it was unreal, the attorney took me back to the airport to catch my flight and as short a flight as it was I cried all the way home. I cried from the tenseness of the event of that day, I cried because they were needlessly aggressive towards me, I think they knew I didn’t know much if anything. I cried because it was over and God had been there with me. I cried because my whole meltdown to begin with was just useless and silly. Oh I suppose I needed to experience that in order to remember for future reference. This even has been years ago, 10+ years and I’ll tell you – I still remember how I felt after reading that angry red paper.
So today friends – I have great news - Isaiah 52:7 How beautiful on the mountains are the feet of those who bring good news, who proclaim peace, who bring good tidings, who proclaim salvation, who say to Zion, "Your God reigns!"
Yes – God Reigns! God is Good, God is faithful, God is everywhere including Grand Jury rooms, He was on that plane with me holding me while I sobbed and looked out the window. He was with me in the meltdown and He is with me today as I offer up my FEET story in sincere hopes it will bless you and remind you. God is always there, always!
Dear Heavenly Father, Thank You for always. Thank You for being with us in the hard, in the easy, in the good and in the bad. No matter what, how or when you are our constant. First and Last. Please bless those reading this with the deep understanding that You are always going to be there to help us even if we don’t hear You or see You. we just need remember. In Jesus most precious name we pray - Amen
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